For Those Who Go Beyond Boundaries

Archive for February 2011

You Are What You Eat

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While shopping for groceries, I decided to stop at one of my favorite supermarkets in the Washington D.C. area. But, I was little hungry, so before I hit them up; I dropped by “Chopped“. For those of you who don’t know what a ‘chopped’ is, Chopped is a fast food restaurant that serves an assortment of healthy and tasty salads for anyone trying to maintain a healthy diet. I discovered Chopped during my first quarter of school at the Art Institute of Washington D.C.


I grabbed a salad bowl that contained a mouth watering arugula and baby spinach mix, a few tasty and fresh veggies (mushrooms, unions, tomatoes, bell peppers, heart of artichoke, carrots and a sunflower seeds if I’m not mistaken). Then I added tuna for protein and topped it off with a red wine balsamic vinaigrette dressing. I finished the purchase with a pomegranate and cranberry Nantucket, and a sweet yet simple dark chocolate  fudge bar square. Total ring up $15.00. From there I stopped at Sunoco gas station and put about $20.00 in my tank, which brought the needle to almost half a tank. That should last me….a day….which isn’t much with driving between school and work.

Once I arrived at Wegmans I started to fill up my basket with some of the same healthy items placed in my salad. But after about an hour or so of me browsing around Wegmans, I started to to hungry again. So, I plopped down at the sushi bar, and ordered a spider roll, with a dragon roll, and hot green tea. Sipping on my miso soup, I decided that some hot sake would be in order, since it was a little chilly outside. Total ring up $35.00

While I was eating I started to notice the variety of people shopping and dinning in at this popular food chain. They where all of various ethnicity, seem to be employed in lucrative careers, and they all looked healthy. Everyone’s basket was filled to the brim with the many foods and produce recommended by the American Heart Association, to maintain a healthy height weight standard; and to combat such illnesses as Hyper Tension, Heart Disease, Diabetes  and Cancer. Everyone was happy and cheerful. No one was rude, pushy, or overly aggressive, and you could find everything you needed and then some at what most of us would assume to be an affordable price for organic meats and produce. Total ring up for purchases in basket $120.00

Being  the absent minded individual I am, I forget a few things and had to stop at Wal Mart to grab them on  my way back home. In which the atmosphere in there was like hell. People where rude, they use their buggies to push in your path so they could get what they wanted; and I never had anyone utter the words “excuse me” or “How are you” like I did in Wegmans. I witnessed this colossal woman, wearing a badly mitch-matched outfit, with tons of weave, curse out the cashier because she felt she was being short changed $2.00 on her total ring up. STORE SECURITY had to be called in to calm this big woman down while escorting her out the door where she was greeted by Fair Fax County Police. As I’m watching this dram unfold, I started to notice that everyone in WalMart (darn near) was over weight. They where using the state equivalent debit card for ‘food stamps’ and you could tell that most of them did  not have much money. Now, this is judging a book by its cover because I don’t know these people; but it was very obvious that I would not see the clientele of WalMart in Wegmans anytime soon.

Every time the American media wants to focus on the issue of obesity in this grate nation, we see pictures of morbidly obese women and men who resemble that of the customers in WalMart. Its normally B-reel footage of a black woman waddling in a cross-walk as her whole body sways in motion with her extremely huge rear end. The camera then does a jump shot to a middle aged, balding white man sitting at a park bench, guzzling a Grande Cafe Moca from Star Bucks and smoking. Not to mention the fact that he’s almost always always suffering from ‘dun-lop’  (meaning his belly ‘done lopped’ over the top of his belt and trousers).  Our media strategically focuses on these specific people because American society has counted them amongst the ranks of individuals who seemly don’t care about their health much less over all appearance. We’ve deemed them unattractive, and unworthy of being acknowledge as the epitome of pride in America, because we  mistakenly assume they’re fat because they have no pride in themselves.

With all the money I spent between Chopped, Sunoco, And Wegmans I spent about $200.00+; all within about a 2 to 4 hour time span. But I can afford to do so. I make enough money annually between my job and monies for school to be able to splurge a little on a meals that I could have prepared at home.

But what about the people shopping at Wal Mart?

What about the folks who’re unemployed, and living on unemployment benefits (if they haven’t run out)?

The big girl at the counter in WalMart was complaining about that additional $200 because that could have been money that she would need to purchase milk for her baby, or to put with what ever change she has to get gas. Or, it could have assisted with paying her electricity bill to keep her children and herself heated during the harsh winter. So even thought that $200 she was fighting mad over meant nothing to me, it may have had significant value for her in regards to survival.

I’ve found that people in lover income communities are not able to afford sitting at a sushi bar in Wegams; paying $20.00 for gas and spending $13.00+ dollars at chopped for a salad that will leave them and their family hungry 20min later. They have to purchase what’s both affordable, and what will keep them full until its time to go to bed. Which happens to be junk food. The foods that are only available in impoverished communities are in most cases franchise fast food restaurants who’s over all objective is profit and not community health (i.e. Wendy’s, Burger King, Taco Hell and Jack in the Crack).

McDonald’s is the biggers repeat offender of diabetes and obesity in the Black community; because they pose as being care-givers to the community, while pumping out value meals that contain a 500+ caloric fat count. Most of the corner store shops don’t carry fresh fruits and vegetables, or organic, chemical/hormone free meats. They have boxed, frozen T.V. Dinners and pizzas (600+ calories a pop), 40 oz Mad Dog’s, 20/20, and ‘grab and snack’ type items. Example the hot dog weenies that have been rolling in grease under a heat lamp, the beef patties and tripple dipped, batter fried chicken wings (at least we hope its chicken) and sky-rocket sodium drenched bags of chips.  If they do have produce, its normally the scavenged left overs from such super markets as Wegmans, in which no self-respecting customer who frequents Wegmans   would buy.And these mom and pop corners stores have the nerves to charge more for their items than that of Wegmans, even though the quality of their produce Fing sucks!

Thus the foods in lower-income communities look like this

The shit you shouldn't be eating

Verses like this

The stuff you need to eat to stay alive

To understand why minorities who reside in lower income and impoverished communities are over weight, even lazy, pushy and die soon; you must understand that their diets contribute to such deficiencies. The inability to access foods (or afford foods) that are rich in omega ‘3s and anti-oxidants; or assist in promoting a heart healthy diet is what contributes to newly reported cases of Type 1 and 2 diabetes and heart hyper tension. Lets not forget that many of them refuse to see the doctor to routine  check up; because they either can’t afford the co-pays or they lack insurance over all. Yes, there are free clinics, but they’re staffing, testing and services are limited due to a lack of funding.

The foods that they can afford, are killing them! They’re working dead end jobs that are high in stress, and leaves little to no time or money to sit down and eat a healthy meal. For some of the kids in these communities, the only time they eat anything is when they’re at school. So for them, school constitutes a free food source  vs. a free education. And this is why many of them attend school sleepy, hungry, cranky and unable to concentrate while in class, because they’re not eating anything at home.  Thus, leading to the inability to concentrate on the materials and actively par take in class activities. They fall behind other students who eat healthy and become disruptive during class time instruction because they’re hungry, and their home life sucks.

It was stated that Gen. William T. Sherman of the Union Army had some of the most well trained, effective killing machines under his command. One of the reasons why they where so affective was because all of his soldiers where well fed. He ensured that everyone had proper meals that enhanced nutrition suitable for a strong body and sound mind. They could carry out military instruction with precision because their bellies where not touching their spin.  How can we expect our youth to be of the same caliber as Sherman’s army in school, if they’re over weight, unable to participate in athletics and can’ t hear the teacher’s lecture  over the grumbling over their stomach’s?


Dating Black Men! Is It Even Possible? (Part 1)

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I'll have "cream" in my coffee 😉

I had a brief conversation with some friends a few days ago, about some of my past relationships. Of course the topic was about why I’m still single, which seems to be the story of my life when ever marriage is introduced as a topic of discussion.


One of my guy friends was under the impression that I’m the type of black woman who refuses to broaden my horizons and date men who’re not black.  He assumed that I’m one of the black women who loudly profess in public when seeing an inter-racial couple about how I’m ‘standing in line’ waiting for a “good” black man; and that I’m tried of seeing white women steel what’s rightfully ours. In other words, he was stereotyping me. In which I had to quickly put him in his place and explain to him a few things about me that he doesn’t know.

A. I have and do date men of various ethnicities (not race, because we’re all one race, and that’s human). I find it more exciting to get to know a man who’s native language and  homeland is different from mine, so that I may learn more about his heritage and language. Not to mention the fact that it sort of spices things up in the bedroom when trying new things with someone (something) different.

B. I don’t feel as if I own the “deeds” to the prime real-estate of a black mans personal/physical being. Black men are free to chose to date/marry/start a family with whom ever they see fit. The same as I and any other black women who choses to follow suit.

C. I stand in line to get my degree, get my car serviced, purchase goods, and pay for clothing, but I WILL NOT stand in line and wait for man. If anything I’ll ‘step outta line’ and go live life and allow my future husband to find me.

Now, since we got that out in the open and clearly understood.

Once we  where back on topic and I addressed his ignorance in a dignified manner (being the Southern Bell that I am).  I explained to my friends that I feel some of the reasons I’m still single is that its difficult for me personally to encounter a man (in most cases a black man) who doesn’t fell intimidated by my education, success, or goals and aspirations. And I know, some of you reading this may say that this sounds like the typical Angry Black woman rant, but let me explain.

I know not all black men fear an edcuated black woman

Brothas! I know not all of you have this unspoken rule that has been secretly appended to the ‘man code’ that forbids you from dating, marrying or starting a family with a woman who has a degree. I understand that some women tend to become more prideful of their titles (BA, MBA, PhD and DR) than they are their abilities to show love and compassion towards a man and children. And I clearly understand that some women get besides themselves and wear their ass on their shoulders when working in corporate America. In which I can agree with many of you that this is a turn off. What you own, what you can buy, how you look, or how much money you have in the bank means sh!t if you’re piss poor morally. And that goes for both men and women.

BUT! Some men (mainly black men) automatically disqualify me from being a potential girlfriend, wife, mother to their children; based heavily upon the fact that I’m educated and work in corporate America. They feel that I’ll spend more time and focus on career advancement, and making money than I will taking care of him, our family and our household. And I’ve had some black men tell me this to my face when they find what I do for a living or assume they know how much I make annually. Most of them who fail to see past my career and education and see me for me, in most cases are BLACK MEN! Men of various other races see my education as a plus and start to engage in conversation about their career goals, or my even my business ownership. Many black men I’ve met in passing tend to shy away from those topics and me over all.

I’m Natural

I’ve been officially weave and chemical free for about a year. I rock the Puff with the Afro pick and black fist. Black men see this, and feel that I’m a black panther, Angela Davis militant who’s down for the cause; ready to mother the revolution. Or they feel I’m a Black Power feminist, and refuse to get to know me for me. But, they’ll pass me up and hit on the hood-rat chicken head sitting next to me at the bar. Go figure

Black men Feel ‘We’ are wearing the pants (are at least we’re trying too)

I’ve found that a lot of black men feel that there’s the ‘shift’ in power when it comes to roles in relationships. Some black men feel that black women have become too independent, too ‘manly’ and refuse to play our roles and know our place. And I’ve been told by black men, that as a career woman, I wouldn’t know what my roles are in a relationship or marriage, thus I lack the knowledge to please a man. Which to them deems me unworthy of wearing the title wife, because they feel I wouldn’t take care of them the way they saw ‘big mama’ take care of grandpa, yet most of them where raised by single black women who took care of them. Black men feel that black women are trying to wear the pants and be the providers, caretakes, and heads of the household because

1. We make too much money

2. We’re too power hungry

3. We’re superficial

4. We want to take control

5. We’re more into titles  and degrees

I had to stop listening to radio personality Michael Basiden, because for a while all most all of his dam show topics was about how black women don’t know how to let me lead. And after a while you get sick and tired of hearing the same mess being regurgitated by black men who fail to stay successfully married to one woman, or who find it difficult to experience happiness in a committed relationship. IF he had all the answers to what makes a happy, and healthy marriage, his ass would still be married.

But enough of  that, that’s part two of this posting.

I’ve found in my past relationships, some of the most difficult one’s I was engaged in (that failed) was with black men whom felt I wasn’t doing my ‘womanly duties’ by proving to him that I was worthy of being his wife. In other words, I wasn’t allowing him to ‘get the milk’ with out paying for the cow. Most black men want a woman who’ll carry out all the choirs of what’s assumed to be ‘wifely duties’ (i.e. cook and clean, have sex when he desires, wash his dirty draws) with out pressuring them for a ring. Meaning, he wants a woman who’s stupid enough to do all the things that many assumed to be limited to a wife, with out him feeling tied to you legally. This way he gets a glimpse of what’s to come IF he ever decides to marry you, while still leaving himself open for Beyonce. So, he’s not married, but he has the benefits of having a submissive, feminine wife with out being legally bound to one woman. And when Beyounce say ‘Yes’ to his marriage proposal he can drop my ass like chicken fresh out of hot grease.

I don’t think so (that’s part two of this posting)

They Don’t wanna put in work

Some! Black men don’t want a woman who makes them work for what she’s got. Some! black men claim to want the women who’re wholesome, who’re not lose and morally standing, yet when they find that they still mess with the women who give it up easy. They want the women who’ll play house, while letting them be ‘the man’ in the relationship; but don’t want to make it right and put a ring on it. Unless she’s a dime piece. But then they get scared that she’ll lose her looks and figure after she gets married and has kids, so they figure they’ll keep her on the back burner while keeping a look out for that email from Beyonce.

I personally have found that when I’ve dated men who where not black, I honestly had none of these issues. WE had issues, but it was more along the lines of trying to figure out how we could keep in contact with me being deployed (or him being deployed) while active duty Navy. Or, we had issues with cultural differences, but never an issue with my level of education, if I was going to wash his clothes, or if I understood how to let a man be a man and lead me.

I was never made to feel as if my accomplishments where small in comparison to his, a negative trait that would  keep me single, or that I was too independent; much less feeling the need to question my femininity if I’m not in the kitchen or the bedroom. But I have dealt with these issues when dating black men. The two most difficult relationships I’ve had was with black men. And I use to think that it was something in me choosing these types of men, since the saying goes you are what you attract. But I don’t know if this is the case any more. I’m about a half inch closer to giving upon being married and starting a family with a black man, because I wonder if this is what life with a black man will be like…

Slap In the Face

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I happened to comment on a friends Facebook page, in regards to a very interesting events that took place recently. Even though the one month out of the year set as side to commemorate African American contributions and achievements is marked on February, I found that ‘we’  have unknowingly shared this very month with another group of interest.

It seems that a group called the Confederate Descendants or Sons of Confederate Veterans, in the company of Civil War (confederate) re-enactors decided to mark the 150 anniversary of our nations inaugurated Confederate President Jefferson Davis on the 19th of February. They dawned confederate solider uniforms and hooped skirts, as they marched down the main avenue of Montgomery, AL this past Saturday.

No big deal right?

Well, its not the idea that they even decided to hold the march, its the timeframe and locations in which they choose to do so. The controversial march started at a historical water fountain where slaves where once bought and sold. From there they moseyed their sweet southern asses past the church that Martin Luther King Jr. led his congregation during the Montgomery Bus Boycott; and ended the march on the Montgomery Capital steps. X marks the spot where former Gov. George C. Wallace proclaimed “segregation forever” in 1968; and where King concluded the historic Selma-to-Montgomery voting rights march in 1965.

The Son’s of Confederate Veterans members, are individuals who’ve trace their history to ancestors who fought in the war. And they’ve some how conveniently renamed the Civil War “A War Between the States” or the “War of Secession“. And they’ve chosen to do so because they feel that its origins have been ‘distorted’ by modern historians. One member stated that the groups over all mission was to “send a message that the war was fought over states rights, slavery was an issue, but it was not the main issue”. Another was quoted saying “yes, it was about slavery, but it was more so over the states rights to purchase, own, breed, and sell slaves”. 0_o?

I want to make something clear here; I have no problem with any group demonstrating a pride in their heritage. I’ve always considered myself to be an advocate of any human beings individual rights to peaceful assembly, freedom of speech, and national pride. Even those of which I beg to differ. But this over all demonstration of ‘pride’ is in my personal opinion linked to a level of bigotry and ignorance that’s a blatant abuse of the civil rights and liberties provided by the United States Constitution/Bill of Rights; in which many proud countrymen, women and myself served in the Armed Forces to preserve and defend. I have to admit that I’m not surprised at the audacity of those whom claim ‘Southern Pride’, for I’m a Southerner and would take offense to anyone whom dare call me Yankee. BUT! I’m not stupid….

I personally understand the significance in their choosing the locations and time for their mockery of such historical monuments; the same in which I’m able to decipher Mr. Glenn Beck‘s need to hold his rally on the Washington Monument during the day of MLK’s historical “I Have a Dream” speech. I even understand the need for Beck to have one of Kings family members present, to ensure he’s not seen as being racist or insensitive to the message of harmony preached by the Nobel Peace Prize winner.

I  understand the symbolism that leads these small minded village idiots to not only draw attention to themselves, but to show disrespect towards individuals who want nothing more than to have their peoples accomplishments and contributions to this grate nation be recognized and celebrated nationally ONE month out of twelve.

And I’m smart enough to know that this small sector of uncivilized population does not speak for the remainder of society over all. Lets be honest, no one can stop them; nor can they be restricted to what days and/or locations they chose to wave the rebel flag in our faces.

What perplexes me is the fact that these people would have the nerve to try and rename the Civil War, while seeking to tweak the true reasoning behind the war itself. Now, they are right that there was several reasons that lead up to the Civil Wars initial beginnings. But Slavery was the cornerstone of every aspect of this war that drove the wedge between the north and south. In the North, the economy was based upon factories wages; everyday people voluntarily worked in factories. Where as the Southern states economy was based heavily upon cotton and tobacco plantations; where slaves were forcefully ’employed’ with out pay. Yes, they where given food and shelter, if your count the left over remnants of slaughtered hogs, wooden shacks and rags for clothing. In the Midwest, wheat was the number one cash crop, and it was harvested by machines so not many workers nor slaves where needed to maintain and harvest the fields. These different economies and methods for growth is one of the issues that caused divisions within the United states. Not to mention the settling of new territories that lead the South to desire these new lands to be admitted to the Union as slave states. And this was a plan concocted by the Southern states to keep escaping slaves from fleeing to ‘free’ territories. The North wanted these territories to be ‘free’ states, thus making it difficult for Southern slave owners to go after escaped and free slaves.

Where states rights comes into play is some people feeling strongly about these new territories having the right to vote on whether they desired to be ‘free’ or slave states. Bear in mind that most of these new territories where actually lands stolen from Native Americans, and these indigenous people had no say if they could keep their land or be ‘free’ or slave states.

An agreement was reached during the Compromise of 1850, which lasted for about three years. During this compromise, fugitive slaves were ordered to return to their owners. The abolitionist felt this law was unjust and should not be followed by slaves who where technically free. South Carolina immediately seceded from the Union when Abraham Lincoln stated that slavery should be abolished, and six more states followed suit forming the Confederte States of Ameria (CSA). Many in the south felt that the abolishment of slavery would hurt their economy and their way of life. And they felt that each state had the ‘right’ to vote on any laws that would have an adverse affect on such factors. Yet the slaves themselves had no rights to vote, because according to the Constitution of the United States of America during those times, African slaves where not even classified as being a full human being.

So you can imagine tickling sensation experienced in my funny bone when House Republicans proposed to read the Constitution on the floor, yet only reading the portions in which they felt applied to current times. Its amazing how some people want things to go back to the era the Constitution was originally drafted (in its original form) yet they’re not racist and promote women’s rights and racial harmony.

The fact that one of the members who partook in the festivities  felt that the war itself wasn’t about slavery; to me demonstrates that our nation still has along way to go when it comes to racial togetherness. No matter how the Sons of Confederate Veterans want to classify the Civil War, or what name they seek to give it, its foundation still rest heavily upon the backs of African slaves forced into slave labor for economical gains.   This grate nation was formed upon the territories stolen from Native Americans, built upon the blood, sweet and tears of the African Slave, and prospered on the exploitation of immigrates who rest upon our nations shores it search of a better life.

With that being said,
Happy Presidents Day 😉


The Images of ‘Us’

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When will the Madness Stop?











What’s going on my people!!?!?!? Its been a while since I wrote last, and I had some free time, so I decided I would write a little before going to bed. I started thinking about a conversation I had with co-workers and I had about the movie ‘Norbit’ some time back. I was reminded of it when I saw this extremely large woman (black of course) ordering two number 2’s with a large diet coke from Mickey D’s. She reminded me of the character “Rasputia“; who was the star pupil through out the feature. Even though the movie was about the shy, good guy Norbit, the majority of the focus was Rasputia. She was the hideous, dark complexion, weave and wig wearing, morbidly obese, loud, rude, pushy, crass, scheming and unfaithful, love interest of Norbit; prior to him being saved by this skinny, beautiful, light complexion woman from his past (played by Thandie Newton). Her size was overly exaggerated, due to the issues she experienced when trying hard to fit comfortably in the driver seat of the compact car she drove through out the movie.

Now, some may not have taken her character personal which was actually played by Eddie Murphy himself. And most of my male co-workers felt that it was nothing more than a mere “comedy” or lack there of, written and produced by Eddie Murphy as a means of bouncing back after his divorce from his wife. But a  female co-worker of mine and I saw the movie a little different. Some may say that we where being ‘typical women’ and being over-analytical of a movie that was meant to be nothing more than pure entertainment; in which I personally understand that. I honestly don’t take any movie too seriously, after all it is a movie. But what was disheartening for me is the fact that when I saw this woman in line, I began to listen to some of the things that people where saying about her has she placed her order. One young man even compared her to the character as he and his peers began to chuckle. Of course they spoke on her weight, focused on her hair, her attitude and the fact that she was rude (because she was); and one ignorant brotha had the nerve to make the comment that women like her was the reason why he no longer dated black women 0_o.

As I calmed myself down after hearing his stupidity speak volumes of his over all character, it prompted me to bring this movie forward for discussion with my peers. Because I wanted to know how my people felt about such movies that depict black women as being the stereotypical “Rasputia” real-life characters.

We see Rasputia every day within the media in movies, in commercials, Ludacris and Red Man had a few in their rap videos and in our communities. The fact that we see a few in everyday life proves that there’s some truth to every stereotype; but honestly there has to come a time when enough becomes ‘enough’. I feel, the reason why “Rasputia” is so marketable is because:

There’s this myth that black women do not work out, for fear of sweating and messign up their hair.

Not only is it a myth, but for some black women it is a reality. There are black women who once their weaves and lace-front wigs or hair pieces have been sown in, sweating for them is not an option, in which this reminds me of the documentary “Good Hair” by comedian/actor Chris Rock. Some black women don’t even want you to touch their hair much less for it be ruined by sweat, induced by physical activity. Which for some of these women, they can and do become over weight, incapable of demonstrating cardio-vascular endurance and experience may unhealthy side affect (mentally, physically, emotionally and/or psychologically) as a result. I’ve witnessed black women refuse to work out or swim after getting their hair done, yet complain about being big and become depressed about their size. And it doesn’t help them over come bouts with depression and anxiety when they see such images of said black women being portrayed on the silver screen. I remember a black woman telling me that she’d walked out of the theater during the movie because she was outraged by how the Rasputia character was presented as being comedy, at the expense of black women who share the same physical attributes. She’d struggled with weight gain all her life; and the last thing she wanted was to see was such Tomfoolery being depicted of a black woman who’s physical features where a lot like hers.

People assume that Rasputia IS all plus sized, dark skin, black women.

American society (the world honestly) has been sold this ‘brand’ of black woman that fits the  stero-typical, hyper sexual, over weight, Aunt Jemima, Baby Mama, government assistance recipient black woman as being the over all description of most black women here in the U.S. Our own men even date and marry women from other countries, telling these women that he would rather be with them than Rasputia. So any time a black woman is plus size and dark in complexion, its automatically assumed that she’s unattractive, pushy, manly, overly aggressive, angry, loud, “ghetto”, and on the hunt for a man that she can push around and run over. And you’ll be surprised how many people actually think this way. They see Rasputia, and assign her imaginary personality traits to all black women who fit her physical description. Some black men (not all) steer clear of any woman whom “looks like she don’t play” and immediately assumes she’s the epitome of the character herself.  I’ll never deny that there are some black who’re a mirror image of Rasputia; but its a sad day when you see an entire ethnicity of women being cast into a generalized mold and told that they’re not worthy of being loved, because of how someone perceives their character, in relation to what’s being seen on T.V.

Keep in mind that some women are told this for so long, that eventually they start to conduct themselves in such a manner. If you’re told something long enough, you’ll soon start to believe it. Which is one of the main reasons why (I think) many of our women, dark, and plus size, have the nasty attitudes that embodies personality traits that gave birth to Rasputia.

OUR people don’t make it any better…

WE (black people) buy into these stereotypes!!!! Plain and simple. Many of us see ourselves the way we assume other people see us; and we incorporate this double consciousness of our individual selves that leads us to ‘act the part’. Thus, in our community, you’ll witness some black women who do not work out and gain excessive amounts of weight on the count of their hair. These women value the look of the fresh weaves or new hair-do’s more than that of their physical health. Physical attributes or artificial enhancements  (i.e. acrylic nails, weave, wigs, braids, mani/pedi-cures) for them means attracting a potential mate or ‘out-shining’ potential female competition. So if their hair and nails is always ‘did’, their shoe game is tight, and they stay fly, for these women, being in shape, eating right and taking care of one’s self doesn’t matter.

In our community, you’ll see the black women whom are told that they’re worth nothing more than finding some thug who needs a place to stay and a bed to lay in. So, these emotionally damaged women open thier homes and beds to disrespectful men. In the undertone message of Rasputia’s character, she was unfaithful to Norbit after all was said and done. No matter good Norbit treated her, she still ended up cheating on him with a skinny, po-pimp womanizer (played by Marlon Wayans). It was as if Norbit could never catch a break, he could never do anything right that pleased Rasputia, because she was always mad about something (this goes back to the angry, bitter stereotype of all black women). And the second she thought Norbit was looking at another woman, Rasputia did everything in her power to hurt him physically (letting him know) he would never do any better than her. Which is the same psychological war fare that some men use on women with low self-esteem (mainly the women who look like Rasputia) when incorprotating emotional abuse into her psyche. So Rasputia was using reverse-psychology on Norbit, breaking down his self -esteme, ensuring that he knew he would never be any good in his life unless she was in it. This was her way of showing him that even though she truly didn’t want him, she didn’t want him to have anyone else; for the mere thought of him being happy with another woman made her made enough to become physically abusive and aggressive.

Rasputia (like many women) wasn’t happy with herself, so she compensated for her unattractiveness, by hyping it up. She wore scantily, revealing, tasteless clothing (as you see many within the African American Community do) that showed much more than most wanted to see. Rasputia lacked fashion sense for her body type and was proud of it. The most memorable and culturally embarrassing scene to me would be the two piece bathing suit portion at the water park; where folds and roles, stretch marks, and  Kankels where introduced to the the audience. I felt this was a poke at the women who wear clothes that are two sizes two small, or that is not complementary to their body type.

My friends and I talked for almost two hours about this woman being seen as a ‘black woman’ in a movie that was written by a successful black man. I’m not sure if this was his way of getting back at all black women based upon the nasty divorce and rumored homosexual activity with R&B Singer Johnny GIll, or if he was just mad at black women in general. But I personally was a little sadden and disenchanted with the famed comedian who did “Delirious” and “48 Hours”. Yes, he did “The Klumps”, which picked upon obesity within the African American family, but I wasn’t really a fan of that either. One might say he made fun of Asians in “The Golden Child”, which happens to be one of my favorites. And yes, he does poke fun of everyone in some point in time in the majority of his comical sketches, movies and stand-up. So I’m not technically ‘complaining’; I’m just curious to know what do most of you think about the movie, and how black women are portrayed in the media?