DeityNyota

For Those Who Go Beyond Boundaries

All The Single Ladies!

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What's wrong with this picture?

I honestly don’t see anything wrong with waiting for a husband, nor allowing God (or what ever deity you worship) to bring you a spouse.

I saw a divorced individual mocking this picture in my facebook feed today, and I found it interesting that someone who’s no longer married would poke fun of women who’re doing their best to get marriage right the first time. Now, I want this individual and everyone else here to understand that I’m not trying to pic a fight with them, or poke fun, but I was very interested to know why they would do such a thing, when in all actuality, they may want to reconsider their strategy for finding (or being found by) love.

Because obviously their methods are not working.

Let’s be honest here, since we’re constantly reading these 50% of marriages end in divorce static’s being quoted on a regular, you would think that women who’re trying to do the right thing and wait for marriage to the right man would be be praised verse persecuted. But for some strange and un-explainable reason, members of society have skillfully mastered the art of ridiculing single women, while praising single men or even men who demonstrate the “married man, single man’s mentally” syndrome (meaning they’re unfaithfully married).

But I wanted to address a few things:

No, we’re not desperate…….well….not all of us. 

Being a woman of faith who’s patiently waiting for her time to be chosen for love and marriage is not a sign of being a desperate, lonely, “man-hungry” woman in the body of Christ. I think I speak for many Christian women when I say we don’t sit around all day praying for God to bring us a ‘Godly Man’ and we don’t spend our days upon end consumed with the dreaded fact that we’re single.  At least not the Christly women I know on a personal level.  True, there are women in the church who fit this description, but there are women in the world (or worldly as we church folk call it) who’re no different.

We know who we are! We don’t need a man to define that for us. 

I see so many women ‘settle’ for a man. The fear of simply being alone leaves many women so desperate and ‘thirsty’ for a man who they’re willing to put up with anything from any one, as long as they can say they ‘have a man’. Many of these women do so because they do not know who they are! They don’t know their purpose in life and they’re seeking a man that will assist in defining their self-worth while seeking personal validation. But as a woman who demonstrates total trust in the almighty to be blessed with a man after God’s heart (being kept by my husband); I feel that its my duty to understand who I am in Christ FIRST, knowing my worth and finding peace in Gods timing. I’ve learned by watching other people’s failed marriages and relationships that its best for me to wait on “Him” to work things out on my behalf, verses me trying to do  permanent things with temporary people in my life.

For me personally, as a woman of faith, I know that my marital status has no bearing on my self-worth; which makes it easy for me to not have a problem with being single. I fully understand that I have to love myself first! Prior to allowing myself to be sought after by my future husband.

You can’t be happy with someone else in your life if you’re not happy with yourself.

Any woman can have ‘a man’ but it takes a real woman or a woman who’s confident in who she is (and in my opinion stead fast in her faith) to patiently wait to be kept by her husband.

My faith is not a cult boo-boo, its just what I believe works for me. 

So many people mistaken being devoted to one’s faith with being brainwashed and uneducated; based upon the debauchery we see amongst self-proclaimed Christians. But I want people to know that we’re not all one in the same!

I know plenty of Godly women personally (myself included) who understands that there’s more to life as a woman than being someone’s jump off, booty call, or ‘dime piece’ for show.

Many of us have arrived at the conclusion that in order to be found by love we must first love ourselves.

No, I’m not blinded by my faith, trust me when I say I that I’ and many other women in the church are very outspoken women who can clearly express and think for ourselves. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I’ve never had a problem with thinking outside the box. But! I do seek a deeper knowledge of my God’s purpose for me in my life through his word, so that I do not end up being one of these people who’ve been married and divorced, or married to a man whom doesn’t love me; for the sake of being able to say I’m married.

Unlike some women, I PERSONALLY DO NOT settle for less than what’s promised unto to me; which is a husband and not ‘a man’.

Any woman can have that!

My Preacher is not my Pimp! 

Contrary to popular belief, I personally don’t need a Pope, Priest or Pastor to tell me my worth or act as a ‘medium’ between my God and I; because I’ve established a connection with him for myself, knowing who he is to me and how he operates in my life. My paster does nothing more than assist with me having a better understanding of my God’s word, but he’s not my God. Nor does he play “Captain Save’em” for me. As women of Christ, our over all being is not defined by if we have “a man” or not that’s ordained by another man who’s walk with Christ may possibly be just as conflicted as ours.

Most importantly we know that being married is a full-time responsibility that can not or should not be shared with just any ‘man’.

Being found by one’s husband takes time, patience and humility and faith; Thus, Christian women allow this time we have to ourselves to be used as Gods time to work on developing these traits. So that when our husbands do seek us; he’ll find a “good thing”. He’ll find a woman who’s been through so much with unfit men in her life, that’s she’s more appreciative of a Good Man that seeks to take her hand in marriage.

Some may say that this through process is that of a fairy tale or an unrealistic expectation. And if this theory is what works for them that’s fine! People can think what they may.

I personally believe that anyone who has this mentality (thinks its fairy tale idea) is an individual (man or woman) whom feel’s they’re not worthy of having such love. They fail to understand or incorporate the power of prayer, and they feel that what they’ve been given by past lovers is all they’ll ever experience with future lovers. I can’t do nothing for people who think like that, other than pray for them. But there’s so much power in patiently waiting for the right man/woman to be found by, or finding you!

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Written by DeityNyota

November 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

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